Currently the thing which is being given on the name of Education is the training or skills to earn more and more money and become successful. I do not argue on its rightness or wrongness, but I want to understand if that is sufficient? Is this kind of Education complete?

So what is missing from this Education System?

If we try to identify what is the right kind of Education then above question will get automatically answered.

If we see our lives then we find that it includes concerns related to schooling, college/higher education, job, marriage, children, social/financial security, old age, death! Is this sufficient for a human being to live? I say No. Even in this kind of living we can see that we are not happy in any phase of it. I remember I was not happy in the schooling. I never knew why I am studying all this which I am studying. I just used to feel that to become successful person and to earn a living one needs to study. Since the purpose was to earn a living and to become successful person which will happen after completion of my higher studies at least so the journey in education used to be very tough. I do not used to enjoy it. I had to mug, I had to suffer, I had to face the fear of exams, assignments, home works and also the scoldings of parents and teachers if I do not do them. I had to go against my willingness. A thing when done without seeing the right purpose behind it doesn’t preserve our interest for long. Same was the case in college and even after having come into the job. In schooling I had to study to get a good grade, in college I had to study good percentage and in job I have to do it to earn money. Even in school and college ultimately the purpose was to get a good job, earn more and more money and become successful.

If we see that most of us have the same story. In this urge to earn more and more money and to become succesful what we have achieved? A rat race. In this race everybody is running to be ahead of other without knowing where one really wants to go. What it is leading to? It is leading to, exploitation. Feeling of deprivation is the basis of exploitation. Exploitation leads to corruption, opposition, struggle, wars and world wars. It is chain and we all are into it.

With current kind of system where do we stand,

1. Criminal mentality in Humans.

2. Poor relationships in family and Insecurity in Family.

3. Disorganized and Insecure Society.

4. Imbalance in Nature. Global Warming etc.

We see that this is not sufficient for us. At least I can say it for myself. Others can also verify it for them. The major thing which comes into mind now is, if not this then what? This is where we need to think. We do not know alternative. We do not know alternative because we do not know purpose of our living! If purpose of living to a human being is clear then other things will automatically align accordingly.

What is the purpose of living?

There are two basic questions which a human being has:-
1. What do I want?
2. How can I achieve it?

What do I want? It is, Happiness, Prosperity and Continuity of these two.

These two basic questions related to a human being are not addressed in our current education system. In fact if we see closely then we find that a “human being” is never a part of discussion in our entire education system. Without understanding what a human being really wants we can not ever ask the question, how I can achieve which I really want?

We see several problems at the level of Nature, Society, Family and Individual. Problems at the level of Nature are due to lack of organization and harmony at the level of Society. Problems at the level of Society is the manifestation of problems at the level of Family and problems at the level of Family are due to lack of understanding at the level of Individual.

Right Understanding at the level of Individual ensures, Trust/Confidence within that individual, Harmony within that individual, right behavior by him with others around him, others around him start getting assured with him, right utilization, conservation and protection of resources by him.

With Right Understanding within every member of family comes the harmony in family. Harmony in family is the manifestation of harmony within the individual with Right Understanding being the base of it. It ensures prosperity and continuity of prosperity in family due to the feeling of being related, which ensures security financially, emotionally and in every other aspect.

Expression of harmony in Family and in Individual, is the harmony at the level of Society. Ultimately it is the people to make the society. If perception and attitutude of people are changed then everything can change. Only Right Understanding can change it.

A human being by birth has this expectation of Certainty, Consistency and Continuity of Happiness. He expects Unconditional Acceptance from others around. He is willing to do Right and behave Rightly, but due to lack of Right Understanding of willingness and the means to fulfill it one lacks the competence to make himself Happy and make others Happy. Ultimately it gives rise to a system where everyone expects others to make him happy but lacks the competence to make others happy. Here this becomes important to notice that Right Understanding is the basis of Happiness in an individual. It is a basic need of individual. Right Understanding includes, understanding of Self, Family, Society and Nature.

Currently if we notice then in education we learn skills to earn more and more money and become succesful and do not get Right Understanding. Purpose of education has become limited to learning skills so that one can earn more and more money and become succesfull. Study of Human, Humanness, Human Society, Human Culture, Human Tradition etc. are not part of education. Unless this becomes part of education the kind of system we have developed is bound to be like this, in which everybody wants security and everybody feels insecure.

So the answer to the question, How can I achieve what I really want? is,

With Right Understanding within every Individual about Self, Family, Society and Nature, which ensures,

Right Relationships and Harmony in Family, which ensures,

Harmony in Society, which ensures,

Harmony in Nature.

Lets play a game. This game has two rounds.

Round1:-

Suppose all the people whom you know are being sold in an auction. They are being sold like commodities in a kirana store. You have as many 100 Rs notes as the number of people being sold in auction. Minimum cost of each person is 100 Rs. There are many more people also to participate in auction. They also know all those who are being sold. If you pay more than 100 Rs for a person you can not buy them all.

Now the auction starts. One by one each person is brought on the stage and all those who are participating in auction, bid for that person. Now think on following questions:-

1. How much are you ready to pay for each person?

2. Who are all those whom you want to buy on any cost?

3. Suppose you are not able to buy a person whom you wanted to buy badly then how do you feel?

4. When you see that some other person participating in the auction is ready to pay more than you for a person whom you want to buy then how do you feel?

5. What are the basis for you to pay more for a person than other?

Round2:-

Now reverse the situation.

All those who were participating in the auction are now being sold into it and all those who were being sold are now participating into it. It means, now those whom you were buying in the beginning, now they will be buying you.

Auction starts. You are brought on the stage. All those whom you know are in front of you to buy you. They start bidding on you. Now think on following questions:-

1. How do you feel when a person for whom you were ready to pay more doesn’t pay that much for you?

2. How do you feel when a person whom you wanted to buy at any cost is ready to pay more for some other person than you?

3. How do you feel when you come to know that a person with whom you expected to be paid high, did not pay that much for you?

4. What is your expectation from people who are participating in auction, when you are being sold?

What happens in Round1?:-

We see that we are paying different amounts to different people. For some we are ready to pay more on the cost of loosing some others even. For some we want to pay any cost.

When we are not able to buy a person whom we want to buy at any cost then we feel very unhappy.

When we see that some other person is ready to pay more for a person whom we want to buy badly then we start feeling a kind of opposition for that person. We want to pay more than that person for the person we want to buy. We want other person to get off from our way to buy the person in auction. We may even become ready to adopt violent methods to eliminate other person so that we can buy that person in auction. If somehow we are not able to buy the person whom we wanted to buy then we start feeling jealous from the person who bought that person. The intensity of jealousy will depend on how badly we wanted to buy that person.

Now the most important question, what is the basis for us to pay more for a person than other?

If we see this then we come to know that there are many things which come into picture while assigning price to a particular person. So what are those things? They are,

Color of skin, Gender, Shape of body, Height, Build, Dressing Style, Many other bodily aspects.

Caste, Creed, Country, Position of that person in society, How powerful that person is, How much that person earns, What contacts that person has, Many other social aspects.

What relation I share with that person, How much time I have spent with that person, How comfortable I feel with that person, How much that person understands me, How much that person trusts me, How much that person respects me, How much that person gives me importance, How much understanding that person is, Many other feeling related aspects.

What happens in Round2?:-

Now the role is reversed. We are being sold and all those for whom I have already assigned a price will be bidding on me.

When I come to know that a person for whom I was ready to pay high and that person doesn’t pay that much for me then my feeling for that person decreases. If that is the person to whom I am close and I have spent a long time with that person then this thing really hurts me.

When I see that a person whom I wanted to buy at any cost is ready to pay for some other person more than me then I start feeling jealous with the person who is being bought.

If people are ready to pay more for me then it boosts my level of confidence. If I find that I do not value much to people who are there to buy me, then it makes me unhappy. I want to be valued more. I feel inferior if people are not ready to pay good amount for me. It makes me feel superior when I see that there are people who are ready to pay more for me.

My expectation with people who are there to buy me is, I should be priced more by them.

Conclusion:-

In the first round we saw that we give different priorities to different people on the basis of several factors like color, cast, relation with them etc. Our feeling for them is dependent on all these factors. In the second round when we ourselves are being sold we want others to undermine all these factors and pay for us more and value us more!

In fact when we make selection of our relatives we consider all those factors but when they are making a selection and if they consider those factors then we find this bad.

We see that all this is happening but why is this happening?

A human being by birth has this expectation of Unconditional Acceptance from others but lacks the competence to give it to others. We accept others on the basis of several conditions but want to be Accepted, Unconditionally!

Unconditional Acceptance means Unconditional Trust and Unconditional Respect.

To gain this acceptance from others, our most of the works are happening. We want to be valuable to others around us. When we feel that we have value then we feel good and when we feel that we lack value then we feel bad. We decide our value on the basis of our association with things which are valuable to others. In fact we recognize our value on the basis of how others around us look at us.

When we expect Unconditional Acceptance from others around us and do not get it because other person also lacks the competence to give to us then it creates a deadlock kind of situation. It is something like two beggars are trying to snatch coins from each others bowls.

We see that problem is there, so what is the solution.

Solution is, Knowledge.

With Knowledge one begins to understand what the meaning of Unconditional Acceptance is, what Trust is, what Respect is and how can I achieve them. Due to lack of understanding of these, there are problems in Human Relationships and in Entire Nature.

Knowledge includes understanding related to:-
Self
Family
Society
Nature

Generally we confuse between Information and Knowledge. We feel that Information itself is Knowledge or we are not aware if there is a difference between them.

Lets take a few examples.

1. Suppose I come to know that a thing when dropped from a height falls down on the ground. I myself observed it happening and I am totally assured within myself that this is how it is. Now suppose you do not know it. I come and give you this Information that an object when released from a height falls on to the ground. This Information remains an Information to you till the time you yourself observe this phenomena happening. When you observe this thing happening and you also totally get assured within yourself that, “this is how it is”, then it becomes Knowledge to you.

2. Suppose I tasted sugar. I come to know that it is sweet. Now suppose you do not know it. I come and tell you that sugar’s taste is sweet. I give you some examples of some other things which taste similar to sugar. You make a prediction for the taste of Sugar. You make an intuition that, “it should be something like this”. When you taste sugar yourself then you get totally assured about the taste of Sugar. Then you “Know” the taste of Sugar which I was talking about.

3. Suppose you have not seen white color, but I have seen it. I ask you, which color have  you seen? you say, red. Now I want to “draw your attention” towards white color. I tell you, keep fading the red color from the  image of red color you have in your mind. After fading it so much that red color is almost gone the color which you will be left with will be very similar to white. You do that. Now before seeing white color yourself you have an intuition about white color in your mind. When you see white color directly then you get assured that “Yes, this is how it is” or it is more closer to your imagination of white color. It becomes part of your Knowledge.

4. Suppose I know that Trust is mutually acceptable to a human being in a relationship and mistrust is not. I try to draw your attention towards this aspect with the help of some examples and observations in relationships. You pay attention towards those examples, you start relating to that. You find those examples right. You start feeling that “this seems right”. When you totally get assured within yourself that “This is how it is” then it becomes part of your Knowledge. Till the time you did not get totally assured within yourself the thing which you have is the information. When you are totally assured within yourself then it becomes part of your Knowledge.

5. Suppose I have understood that “Happiness is the basic need of a human being and all the works of a human being are happening for the sake of ensuring happiness only”. I tell you this thing. You get this information. I give you several examples in support of this fact. You find them right. When you also totally get assured within yourself that “This is  how it is” then it becomes part of your knowledge.

Once we “Know” or “Understand” then we need not to remember it. Till the time we do not “Know”,  what we have is “Information”. We need to remember “Information”.

Information is a way towards Knowledge and not the Knowledge itself.

There is a reality. When I know it and want to explain it to you, I tell you about it. I try to draw your attention towards it. You get information about the reality. This information becomes source of direction and motivation to know the reality in you. When you observe/realize that reality by yourself then you “Know” it.

This faculty of “Imagination” which is there in a human being facilitates him to Know the reality with the help of Information available to him. Whatever we get to know from a book, person or any other source is the Information and NOT the Knowledge. It becomes Knowledge when we observe the reality by ourselves, which the book, other person etc. are trying to convey to us.

The major mistake which we do is we assume our Information as Knowledge and we ourselves are not aware of it.

There is one more major thing which needs consideration. In the above 5 examples first 3 examples involve observation through senses. Last 2 examples require observation beyond senses. Like I can not see through eyes that I want to live with this feeling Trust. I can not smell it, I can touch it, I can not hear it, I can not taste it. I can just observe it within myself and get assured that “this is how it is”. It also implies that reality is not perceivable with the help of senses only. Senses observe very very limited section of reality.

A human being by birth has this expectation of living with Happiness. He wants Certainty, Consistency and Continuity of Happiness. To live with Happiness he needs Knowledge. Our faculty of Imagination helps us directing our attention towards the Reality with the help of Information which is available to us about the Reality. In the absense of Information about the Reality we can come to know where Happiness is NOT but we can not come to Know where it is! Information gives direction. Information can be made available only by a person who has Known the Reality.

Currently due to lack of understanding of our own purpose of life this faculty of imagination is not getting rightly utilized. With the right proposal and direction we can utilize it rightly.

Purpose of Information is to give direction to our Imagination towards the Reality. Once our Imagination touches the Reality we Know the Reality. Till the time it does not touch the Reality what we have is the Imagination of the reality. Over the course of time the imagination of Reality we have keeps becoming more and more finer and ultimately touches it.

Information when verified on the basis of one’s own right becomes, Knowledge.

हमारे ज्यादातर प्रयास विशेष होने के लिए ही रहते हैं| हम कुछ ना कुछ विशेषता की चादर ओढे रहना चाहते हैं| विशेषता से मेरा तात्पर्य है “मैं बाकी लोगों से कुछ अलग हूँ, मूल्यवान हूँ”, स्वयं में यह भाव| बाकी लोगों से अलग होने पर मैं स्वयं मे अच्छा महसूस करता हूँ| उस विशेषता के आधार पर मैं अपनी पहचान बनाता हूँ| जैसे अगर मैं शारीरिक रूप से सुंदर हूँ तो मैं सुन्दरता के आधार पर स्वयं को पहचानता हूँ| मुझे लगता है कि मेरे पास एक ऐसी चीज़ है जिसके कारण बाकी लोग मुझ पर ध्यान देंगे, मुझे अच्छा देखेंगे, मुझसे जुड़ना चाहेंगे| इसी विशेषता के आधार पर मैं स्वयं के मूल्य को पहचानता हूँ| अगर हम सभी अपने आप को देखें तो यह देखने में आता है कि हम सभी किसी ना किसी विशेषता की चादर ओढे ही रहते हैं| उस चादर के उघड जाने पर हम स्वयं को नग्न महसूस करते हैं और हमें लगने लगता है कि हमारे आसपास के सभी लोग हमारी नग्नावस्था को देख कर हम पर अट्टहास कर रहे हैं| कई बार तो ऐसा भी होता है कि अगर हमें इस बात का अनुमान पहले ही लग जाए कि हमारी विशेषता की चादर उघड जाने वाली है तो हम उस भय के मारे आत्महत्या तक के लिए उतारू हो जाते हैं, जैसे एक्साम मे फ़ैल हो जाने के भय से या सोसायटी मैं नाक कट जाने के भय से आत्म हत्या कर लेना| इतना महत्व रखती है यह विशेषता की चादर|

अगर हम थोड़ा और ध्यान से देखें तो यह दीखता है कि हम कई सारी विशेषताओं कि चादरें ओढे रहते हैं| जैसे मैं सुंदर हूँ, मैं ऊंचे पर विराजमान हूँ, मैं धनवान, मैं बलवान हूँ, मैं बुद्धिमान हूँ, मैं कई सारे लोगों के द्वारा जाना जाता हूँ, मझे लोग अच्छा देखते हैं, मैं बातें काफ़ी अच्छी कर लेता हूँ, इत्यादि| जितनी ज्यादा चादरें हम ओढे रहते हैं, हमारा आत्मविश्वास उतना ही अधिक बढ जाता है| हम स्वयं में उतना ही अधिक अच्छा महसूस करते हैं| किसी चादर के उघड जाने पर हम बाकी चादरों का सहारा लेकर अपने आत्मविश्वास को बनाये रखते हैं, परन्तु कुछ समय के लिए तो हमारा आत्मविश्वास किसी भी चादर के उघड जाने पर हिल ही जाता है| किसी भी चादर के उघड जाने पर हम दुखी तो होते ही हैं|

कई बार ऐसा भी होता है कि किसी विशेषता कि चादर को हमने बहुत ही लंबे समय से ओढ़ रखा हो तो हमारी उस चादर के प्रति आसक्ति बहुत ही प्रबल हो जाती है| ऐसे में अगर वो विशेषता की चादर हमसे अलग हो जाए या किसी भी कारण से उघड जाए तो हमें लगता है कि हम मिटटी में ही मिल गए| हमें लगने लगता है की हमारी कोई वेल्यु ही नहीं रह गई| यह स्थिति वही नग्न हो जाने जैसी होती है जिसमें हमें लगने लगता है कि बाकी सब हमारे आसपास के लोग हमें ही देख रहे हैं, हम पर अट्टहास कर रहे हैं| बाकी सब लोग हमारे बारे में क्या सोचेंगे यह तथ्य हमें बहुत प्रताडित करने लगता है| ऐसे में अगर हमें किसी और विशेषता की चादर का सहारा मिल जाए तो वह हमें बहुत ही आराम दे देती है| यहाँ तक की किसी अकेले आदमी का सहारा भी ऐसे समय पर बहुत ही मूल्यवान मालूम होता है| जैसे एक्साम में अच्छे नंबर ना आने पर बच्चे को बोलना कि तुम्हें विषय तो आता ही है नंबर नहीं आए तो क्या हो गया| एक चादर उघड जाने पर हम किसी और चादर का सहारा ले लेते हैं|

अगर हम ध्यान से देखें तो यही समझ में आता है कि विशेषता कि चादर ओढ़ने के मूल में स्वयं के मूल्यवान होने जाने या माने जाने की आशा है| यहाँ पर यही देखने में आता है कि किसी विशेषता कि चादर ओढ़ने पर हमें जो स्वयं में मूल्यवान होने का जो भाव महसूस होता है उसके मूल में उस विशेषता के साथ में हमारे जुड़ जाने पर दूसरों के नज़रिए का हमारे प्रति अच्छा हो जाने का जो हमने अनुमान लगाया रहता है, वही है| जैसे, “अगर मैं धनवान हो गया तो लोगों का नजरिया मेरे प्रति अच्छा होगा, लोग मुझे अच्छा और ऊंचा देखेंगे”|

यहाँ पर एक और जो चीज़ देखने में आती है वह यह है कि विशेषता से मिलने वाले सुख या विश्वास कि निश्चितता, स्थिरता और निरंतरता नहीं बन पाती| इसके मूल मे कारण यही है कि हम किसी विशेषता से जुड़ने के लिए तभी प्रेरित होते हैं जब हमें उससे जुड़ कर अपने मूल्य में वृद्धि का अनुमान हो| मूल्य में वृद्धि का आधार लोगों में उस विशेषता के प्रति प्रचलित मान्यता रहता है| जैसे सोना| अगर सोना आजकल प्रचलित है और सोने के गहने पहनने वालों को ऊंची नज़रों से देखा जाता है तो ज्यादा से ज्यादा लोग सोने के गहने बनवाने और पहनने के लिए प्रेरित होते हैं| उससे उन्हें स्वयं में सुख, विश्वास का अनुभव होता है| पर उस सुख, विश्वास के निरंतर बने रहने के लिए निम्न शर्तें पूरी होना जरूरी होगा:-
१. सोने के उस विशेष प्रकार के गहने के प्रति जो हमने पहना हुआ है, लोगों का नज़रिया बरक़रार रहे और वे मुझे वह ज़ाहिर करते रहे|
२.  उनके नज़रिए के बने रहने से मुझे जो आनंद प्राप्त हो रहा है उसकी मुझ में स्थिरता, निरंतरता बनी रहे|

अगर हम ध्यान से देखें तो ये दोनों ही शर्तें पूरी नहीं हो पाती| जैसे ही कोई व्यक्ति मुझसे अच्छा गहना पहन कर उनके सामने आता है वे उसे ज्यादा अच्छा देखने लगते हैं और मेरी वेल्यु उनकी नज़रों में कम हो जाती है| या फिर अगर मार्केट में सोने की ही वेल्यु कम हो जाए क्यूंकि उससे अच्छा कोई और धातु मार्केट में आ गया है तो भी मेरी वेल्यु घट जाती है| और भी कई सारी चीज़ें हो सकती हैं जो लोगों का मेरे गहने के प्रति नज़रिए को पहले से कम अच्छा कर दें| यहाँ पर यही देखने में आता है कि लोगों का नज़रिया या किसी वस्तु के प्रति उनकी मान्यता की स्थिरता, निरंतरता नहीं बनी रहती|

दूसरी चीज़ जो देखने में आती है वह यह है कि किसी वस्तु के प्रति हमारी ख़ुद की मान्यता भी स्थिर नहीं बनी रहती| अगर हमारे आस पास के लोग रोज रोज भी हमारे घर आ कर हमारे गहने की तारीफ करते भी रहे तो भी हम थोड़े दिनों बाद उस तारीफ से उतना आनंद प्राप्त नहीं कर पते, जितना की हम पहले कर रहे थे| हमें अब इस बात की आवश्यकता महसूस होती है की लोग हमारी थोडी और ज्यादा तारीफ करें, नए तरीके से तारीफ करें, हमारे ऊपर नए तरीके से ध्यान दें| फिर थोड़े दिनों बाद हम उनके उस नए तरीके से भी बोर होने लगते हैं|

यहाँ पर यह सिद्ध हो जाता है कि विशेषता से मिलने वाले सुख/विश्वास कि निश्चितता, स्थिरता और निरंतरता नहीं है| जबकि मनुष्य सुख, विश्वास की स्वयं में निश्चितता, स्थिरता और निरंतरता चाहता है|

परन्तु किसी विशेषता की चादर के बिना हम में हमारे मूल्य के प्रति सजगता के आभाव में हम किसी न किसी विशेषता की चादर को निरंतर ओढे रखना चाहते हैं| और तो और क्यूंकि उससे मिलने वाले सुख, विश्वास की निरंतरता नहीं बनी रहती इसलिए हम भी निरंतर और नई नई चादरें ओढ़ने के लिए प्रेरित होते रहते हैं| एक चादर की मान्यता कम हो जाने पर हम उसमें कुछ और डिजाईन बनवाने की कोशिश करते हैं, उस पर नया रंग चढवा लेते हैं या पूरी की पूरी चादर ही बदल डालते हैं| अपने मूल्य को बनाये रखने के लिए या उसे और अधिक बड़ा लेने के लिए ऐसा कर लेना एक आवश्यकता के रूप में बना रहता है जिसका कोई और विकल्प दिखाई भी नहीं देता| अगर हम स्वयं में अपने विश्वास के भाव को ध्यान से देखें तो यह साफ़ दीखता है की वह किस तरह एक वस्तु से दूसरी वस्तु की तरफ़ भागता रहता है| किस तरह नए नए तरीके से वह अपने आप को सुनिश्चित करने के लिए निरंतर प्रयासरत रहता है| यही सिद्ध करता है उस विश्वास के भाव या सुख की निरंतर आवश्यकता को|

यहाँ पर इतना तो बहुत ही आराम से देखने में आता है कि विशेषता से मिलने वाले सुख, विश्वास के निरंतर ना होने पर हमें जो उसको निरंतर बनाये रखने के लिए कार्य करना पड़ता है वह अपने आप में ही बहुत दुखदायी है| जबकि हर इंसान निरंतर सुख की प्रत्याशा रखता है| यहाँ पर आकर हमें स्वयं में सुख, विश्वास की निरंतर आवश्यकता का आभास तथा उसको निरंतर सुनिश्चित करने के लिए समाधान की आवश्यकता महसूस होती है| यहाँ पर यही समझ में आता है कि स्वयं में स्वयं के निरपेक्ष मूल्य के ज्ञान के आभाव में ही हम किसी ना किसी विशेषता के आधार पर स्वयं के मूल्य को पहचानने का प्रयास करते हैं, जो कि विफल होता रहता है| स्वयं में स्वयं के मूल्य के प्रति निर्भ्रमता या ज्ञान के लिए प्रयास ही श्रेष्ठता के लिए प्रयास है तथा स्वयं में उस ज्ञान का होना ही श्रेष्ठता है|

इस पूरे विश्लेषण से यही सिद्ध हो जाता है कि स्वयं में स्वयं तथा अस्तित्व के प्रति ज्ञान का आभाव ही स्वयं में दुखों का कारण है| स्वयं में स्वयं का ज्ञान ही पूर्ण समाधान, सुख तथा विश्वास का एक निश्चित आधार है| यही श्रेष्ठता है|

The base of Parent’s acceptance for their children is Unconditional.

A small baby has newly joined the family. Parents are very happy. They have been waiting for this moment since a long time. They already have many desires, thoughts and hopes associated with this child. This child has brought new dimension of happiness to parents. Child’s innocent face, closed eyes, small hands and legs become source of ultimate happiness for them. Daily many people come to house to see small baby, parents feel very happy showing the child.

They spend their whole time and energy thinking and taking care of the baby. He wakes up any time in the night and starts crying, parents also get up and take care of him. They do not sleep until he sleeps, they get up as soon as he gets up. They attend him as soon as he starts crying because of any reason. Now they have reduced going outside much since they have to take care of child. It gives them more happiness than enjoying something outside. Even on holidays playing with child is the major activity they are involved in. His every new activity gives them extreme joy. If he speaks anything new it makes them really happy. His gestures, his actions, the way he makes his face on various situations, the way he reacts to various situations and everything he does makes them really happy.

He starts going to school and a new schedule is introduced for parents also. They get up early, wake him up, prepare breakfast for him, dress him for school, drop him to school or to the bus stop and then they get back to their work. When he comes back from school attend him, help him in his homework, understand his problems and spend time with him. This keeps happening in his entire schooling.

When he comes to a higher standard parents start thinking about his career. What they want him to become, what he is liking etc. If it is required to send him outside home to some distant place for studies they are ready for it for the sake of a good career of their child. It is really painful for them but they do that. Even after sending him away they keep taking care of him completely. They call him, they try to understand his problems, they are even ready to come to the place of child and spend as much time with him as he wants.

As child grows, he sometimes even contradicts, behaves badly with his parents. They bear it. Even if they get angry the acceptance is restored within no time. Base of their acceptance is unconditional. Kid’s goals become their goals, kids aspirations become their aspirations. Even if their is a conflict between the aspiratins of kid and parents dreams for kid, they try to make him understand various pros and cons of various things and if he doesn’t understand they ultimately succumb to him, while maintaining their acceptance. It might take some time but acceptance is restored again.

I have been appreciating this aspect of parents children relationships since a long time and thought of writing this post. It really amazes me when I see the beauty of this relationship. I remember many incidents in my own life as well as many many cases with others too, related to this unconditional aspect of parent children relationships.

Generally we do not like to be judged by others. When somebody judges us and that also wrongly then it hurts us,  especially people whom we consider important or whom we consider close to us or like.

We see that we interact with several people, we talk to several people. Sometimes it so happens that other person behaves with us in a strange way or says something with which we feel that we are being wrongly evaluated or our intention is under doubt or something bad is being thought about us, then this thing makes us unhappy. We want other person to think about us right or good again. We want him to rightly evaluate us again. We even sometimes get away from that person, but this thing keeps pricking us within ourselves that we are being wrongly evaluated by other person. When we confront that person we become self-concious. Again that thought of being wrongly evaluated comes into our mind. Our heart beat frequency increases. If we realize that other person is doing that or did that intentionally then we get angry. We want to teach a lesson to other person.

We see that all these things keep happening, but the question remains, why is it happening?

A human being wants Unconditional Acceptance from other person. We expect other person to never doubt our intentions, we want him to rightly evaluate us always. When this thing happens we feel good. When this does not happen we feel bad. This expectation of unconditional acceptance can be easily observed in our close relatives, people whom we consider close to us, people whom we like. Even a slight behavior change in them gives rise to 1000s of questions within us. We always want at least one person with whom we have assurance that he is there for me no matter what, he will be there for me no matter what.

We see that this expectation is there. When this expectation is fulfilled a human being feels really happy. When it is not getting fulfilled he is in search of somebody who can fulfill it. When we feel that from a person with whom this expectation was getting fulfilled since a long time, now it is not getting fulfilled then, we get really hurt. We want other person to accept us again the same way on any cost.

This expectation of Unconditional Acceptance is always present within us. It is Ever Actively Present. It is not something which is optional. It is not something which can be suppressed. It is there. We can only identify the root cause behind it and just can serve this expectation the right way. There is no way out of it.

Unconditional Acceptance means, Unconditional Trust and Unconditional Respect.

We feel that we are being Trusted Unconditionally when we have assurance that other person Trusts our intention. Other person doesn’t doubt our intention and will never doubt our intention.

We feel that we are being Respected Unconditionally when we have assurance that other person Evaluates us Rightly and will keep on Evaluating us Rightly.

A human being from birth has this expectation of Unconditional Acceptance from others but lacks the competence to give it to the others. This is the root cause of all the human problems.

A human being can become competent to accept others Unconditionally only when he has Knowledge. With Knowledge one’s expectation for Unconditional Acceptance from others is also fulfilled and one is also able to accept others Unconditionally.

To understand Trust, Respect, Happiness etc. we need Knowledge.

Knowledge includes, complete understanding related to,
Self,
Family,
Society,
Nature.

हर व्यक्ति स्वयं में इसी विश्वास के साथ जीना चाहता है कि, “मैं सही हूँ, मैं अच्छा हूँ”| यह विश्वास का भाव मनुष्य की मूल आवश्यकता है| यह एक ऐसी आवश्यकता है जो उसमें निरंतर बनी रहती है| जब भी उसे किसी भी कारण से ऐसा लगता है कि मैं अच्छा नहीं हूँ, मैं सही नहीं हूँ तो वह परेशान हो जाता है और जब उसमें यह विश्वास बना रहता है तो वह खुश रहता है| स्वयं मे इस विश्वास के भाव की आवश्यकता मनुष्य की भोजन की आवश्यकता से बिल्कुल अलग है| भोजन तो मनुष्य को दिन मे ३ वक्त चाहिए होता है, पर इस विश्वास के भाव की आवश्यकता मनुष्य मे निरंतर, नित्य, समान तीव्रता से बनी रहती है| बल्कि ऐसा भी देखने में आता है कि अगर ये विश्वास के भाव की मुझ में कमी हो तो मुझे भोजन भी अच्छा नहीं लगता| कितना भी स्वादिष्ट भोजन मेरे समक्ष रखा हो मुझे नीरस लगने लगता है| मेरा सारा ध्यान उस विश्वास के भाव को दोबारा सुनिश्चित करने की तरफ़ लगा रहता है|

अक्सर ऐसा देखने में आता है कि हमारे अन्दर इस विश्वास का आधार कि “मैं सही हूँ, मैं अच्छा हूँ”, दूसरे व्यक्ति का हमारे प्रति नज़रिया, बना रहता है| जब दूसरे व्यक्ति का नज़रिया हमारे प्रति अच्छा होता है तो हमें स्वयं में इस विश्वास का अनुभव होता है कि “हम सही हैं, हम अच्छे हैं” और जब उसका नज़रिया हमारे प्रति अच्छा नहीं होता तो हम स्वयं में अच्छा महसूस नहीं करते और परेशान हो जाते हैं| अक्सर ऐसा भी होता है कि जब हमें लगता है कि दूसरे व्यक्ति का नज़रिया हमारे प्रति अच्छा नहीं है या दूसरा व्यक्ति हमारे बारे में अच्छा नहीं सोचता तब भी हम परेशान हो जाते हैं| इसमें ऐसा भी हो सकता है कि दूसरा व्यक्ति तो हमारे बारे में अच्छा सोचता हो पर हमें लग रहा हो कि कुछ गड़बड़ है| जैसा कि पहले ही हम देख चुके हैं कि यह विश्वास की आवश्यकता तो निरंतर बनी ही रहती है, तो इस तरह की परिस्थिति में अपने विश्वास को दोबारा से पाने के लिए हम कई तरह के काम करने कि कोशिश करते हैं, जैसे दूसरे व्यक्ति से दूर हो जाना, दूसरे व्यक्ति के प्रति मेरे भाव में कमी आ जाना, दूसरे व्यक्ति से बात कर के मामले को सुलझा लेने की कोशिश करना, दूसरे व्यक्ति से बात करने की कोशिश करना और यह सुनिश्चित करना कि सब पहले जैसा हो जाए, दूसरे व्यक्ति को अपनी नज़रों में ही नीचे गिरा देना ताकि उसके मेरे प्रति नज़रिए का कोई महत्व ही नहीं रह जाए, दूसरे व्यक्ति को मजा चखाने कि कोशिश करना ताकि मेरा विश्वास तो बढ ही जाए और दूसरा व्यक्ति उसकी ख़ुद कि नज़रों में भी नीचे गिर जाए और परेशान हो, और तो और कई बार हम दूसरे व्यक्ति को शारीरिक, आर्थिक, मानसिक रूप से भी नुक्सान पहुचाने की कोशिश करते हैं| इतना सब कुछ करते हैं हम अपने इस विश्वास कि आवश्यकता को पूरा करने और बनाये रखने के लिए और हमें पता भी नहीं चलता|

अगर हम ध्यान से देखें तो यह देखने में आता है कि इस विश्वास के भाव को सुनिश्चित करने के लिए ही हमारे अधिकतम कार्य व्यवहार हो रहे हैं| परीक्षा में अच्छे नंबर लाने का प्रयास, अधिक से अधिक धन कमाने का प्रयास, ऊंचे पद को पा लेने का प्रयास, दूसरों कि नज़रों में ऊपर उठने का प्रयास, किसी संस्था से जुड़ जाने का प्रयास, किसी प्रतिष्ठित व्यक्ति के सान्निध्य को पा लेने का प्रयास, दूसरे व्यक्ति को मजा चखाने का प्रयास, तीर्थ यात्रा करना, किसी धर्मं से जुड़ जाना, बड़ी बड़ी डिग्रियां पाने का प्रयास, किसी ऐसे व्यक्ति की तलाश जो हमें समझे, बहुत सारी किताबें पड़ के ज्ञानी बन जाने का प्रयास, दूसरों के समक्ष वैसे प्रस्तुत होना जैसे हम नहीं हैं, दूसरों से जीतने का प्रयास, प्रतियोगिताओं में प्रथम आने का प्रयास, किसी विदेशी व्यक्ति का सान्निध्य पाने का प्रयास, विदेश जाने का प्रयास, बहुत बड़ा घर बनाने का प्रयास, सुंदर साथी पाने का प्रयास, विशेष हो जाने का प्रयास इत्यादि, सभी में मूलतः तो स्वयं में विश्वास सुनिश्चित करने कि ही आशा है|

जिस भी वस्तु को हम जितना मूल्यवान मानते हैं उसे पाकर हम स्वयं में उतना ही विश्वास का अनुभव करते हैं|

जैसे अगर मैं किसी ऊंचे पद को बहुत महत्त्वपूर्ण मानता हूँ तो उसे पाकर मैं स्वयं मैं बहुत ही अच्छा महसूस करता हूँ, मेरे अन्दर यह भाव कि “मैं सही हूँ, मैं अच्छा हूँ” बहुत बलवती हो जाता है, मैं स्वयं मे विश्वास का अनुभव करता हूँ| उसी तरह से और भी बहुत सारे उदाहरण है जो पहले ही लिए जा चुके हैं|

यहाँ पर प्रश्न यह खड़ा होता है कि किसी भी वस्तु के मूल्य का निर्धारण मैं किस आधार पर करता हूँ? किस वस्तु को मैं अधिक मूल्यवान मानता हूँ और किसको कम?
यहाँ पर ऐसा देखने मे आता है कि, किसी भी वस्तु का मेरे लिए महत्व या मूल्य अक्सर तीन चीज़ों पर निर्भर करता है|
१. उस वस्तु के रंग, रूप, आकार, रस, सुगंध, स्पर्श आदि से मुझे मिलने वाले सुख के आधार पर|
२. मेरे उस वस्तु के साथ मे जुड़ जाने पर मैंने अपने मूल्य/महत्व मे जिस वृद्धि का अनुमान लगाया रहता है, उसके आधार पर|
३. उपरोक्त दोनों बिन्दुओं के साथ में होने पर| उनके सम्मिलित प्रभाव के आधार पर|

जैसे सोना| सोना मुझे देखने में भी सुंदर लगता है और जब मैं उससे बने हुए गहने पहन कर लोगों के समक्ष प्रस्तुत होता हूँ तो वे मुझ पर ध्यान देते हैं, मेरी तारीफ करते हैं, मुझे स्वयं में यह महसूस होता है कि “मैं अच्छा हूँ” और यह भाव मेरे सुख में वृद्धि करता है| यह हमारे साथ हमारे जीने के हर आयाम में होता है| जब भी मैं स्वयं को किसी ऐसे व्यक्ति के साथ में पाता हूँ जिसको मैं महत्त्वपूर्ण मानता हूँ तो मुझे अच्छा लगता है, मैं अपनी पहचान उस व्यक्ति के साथ जोड़ कर बनाने लगता हूँ, मुझे स्वयं मैं भी “महत्त्वपूर्ण” महसूस होता है जो मेरे सुख का कारण बनता है| यहाँ पर उदाहरण के तौर पर ले सकते हैं कि किसी बड़े नेता या फ़िल्म अभिनेता, अभिनेत्री आदि के साथ फोटो खिंचवाना, उनके दस्तखत लेना इत्यादि|  लड़के लड़कियों के एक दूसरे के प्रति आकर्षित होने में भी यही तथ्य है|

यहाँ पर यह भी देखने मे आता है कि उपरोक्त बताये गए पहले २ बिन्दुओं मे से दूसरा बिन्दु प्रधान है| अगर किसी वस्तु से मेरे महत्व मे वृद्धि हो रही हो तो उस वस्तु से जुड़े दूसरे पक्ष मेरे लिए स्थूल हो जाते हैं| जैसे कई लोग शराब इसलिए पीते हैं क्योकि  उन्हें लगता है शराब पीने से उन्हें ऊँची सोसायटी का माना जायेगा, उन्हें ऊंचा देखा जायेगा| इसके कारण वे शराब के कड़वे स्वाद में भी आनंद ले लेते हैं| शराब का कड़वा स्वाद भी उन्हें रस देने लगता है| अभी कुछ ही दिनों पहले मैंने टी वी पर देखा कि किसी जंगल के कबीले के लोग अपने पूरे शरीर को ब्लेड से जगह जगह से खंरोचते हैं और इस प्रक्रिया में उनका पूरा शरीर खून से लत्पत हो जाता है, पर फिर भी वे यह करते हैं क्योकि उनके कबीले में इस क्रिया को बहुत ही बड़ी पध्वी प्राप्त है| इसे वे लोग बहुत ही ऊंची चीज़ मानते हैं| यहाँ पर भी यही देखने में आता है कि भाव पक्ष को सुनिश्चित करने के लिए इंसान किसी भी हद तक आमादा हो सकता है| “में सही हूँ, मैं अच्छा हूँ” इस भाव को सुनिश्चित करने के लिए ही सह सब हो रहा है|

यहाँ पर यह भी देखने में आता है कि हम जितने भी तरीके इस्तेमाल करते हैं इस भाव को सुनिश्चित करने के लिए उनमें से किसी भी तरीके से उस भाव कि निश्चितता, स्थिरता और निरंतरता सुनिश्चित नहीं हो पाती| जबकि इंसान को उस भाव कि निरंतरता चाहिए| यहाँ पर यह जानना अंत्यंत ही जरूरी हो जाता है कि इस भाव कि निरंतरता की चाहना के मूल में क्या है? यह चाहना क्यूँ है? इस चाहना का प्रयोजन क्या है? यहाँ पर यही समझ में आता है की मानव को सुखी होकर के जीने के लिए लिए ज्ञान चाहिए| ज्ञान का अर्थ है स्वयं में स्वयं तथा अस्तित्व का ज्ञान| स्वयं में स्वयं के ज्ञान के अभाव में हम स्वयं को उस तरह से पहचानते हैं जिस तरह से हमें अन्य लोग देखते हैं| हम अपनी पहचान विभिन्न वस्तुओं के आधार पर बना लेते हैं, जैसे रूप, धन, पद, बल, बुद्धि आदि| हमारी जिस वस्तु के प्रति जैसी मान्यता रहती है उस वस्तु से जुड़ कर हम वैसा ही महसूस करते हैं| हमारी उस वस्तु के प्रति जो मान्यता है उसका आधार भी अन्य लोगों में प्रचलित मान्यता ही रहता है| उस तरह की मान्यता में स्थिरता, निरंतरता नहीं रहती| जैसे ऊंचे पद पर विराजमान हो जाने पर भी मुझे अन्य लोग नित्य सम्मान की दृष्टि से नहीं देखते रहते और अगर देख भी रहे हों तो भी मुझे निरंतर तृप्ति नहीं मिल पाती, मुझे निरंतर उन लोगों का ध्यान पाने के लिए कुछ न कुछ परिवर्तन लाने की आवश्यकता महसूस होती है और अगर उस पद की लोगों में पहचान ही कम हो जाए, वे उसको पहले से कम महत्व देने लगें तो में स्वयं को कम महत्त्वपूर्ण महसूस करने लगता हूँ, मेरा विश्वास डगमगा जाता है|  यहाँ पर से यह सिद्ध हो जाता है कि स्वयं में विश्वास ही स्वयं में सुख है और मनुष्य को उस विश्वास कि नित्य आवश्यकता है| यह आवश्यकता ज्ञान से ही पूरी हो सकती है|

This is what our imagination is filled with, today!

In fact if we look closely then it is not even all those balloons which define our imagination. It is limited to mostly the Right Part of the picture i.e. Sex, Career, Movies, Music, World Tours, Luxury, Comfort etc. Mostly it is the right part of the picture we think about, we dream about, we aspire to achieve, we appreciate, is our goal and we recognize ourselves with!

When in groups or even alone we discuss or think about our Career, what we want to become in our lives, how we are progressing towards our career goal, what the current trends are, how easily we can grow in the career we are aspiring to make for ourselves etc. OR we discuss various new Movies currently in market, which new movies are coming, what is new in any new movie etc. OR  Music OR Sex OR World Tours OR Hotels OR Different Places which can be visited and this list is endless.

Parallely we also keep thinking Partially about balloons on the Left Part of the picture. What people around me think about me? Whether people around me Trust me or not? How do I look to my comrades? Am I recognized among people around me or not? Whether people in my close relationships evaluate me rightly or not? etc. If we feel that other person with whom we are spending time is not of our kind then we start feeling repulsion and find out some other person to spend time with. If we feel that a person with whom we have spent a long time and shared a good friendship has got some doubts in his mind for us then we try to convince him that things are not the way he is taking them or something similar and try to get the relationship back to normal. Even if we do not try to get the relationship back to normal through our actions but our expectation is always that the things become normal. When we confront a person with whom we feel that he doesn’t think good about us then this thing pricks us. All these things keep happening with all of us whether we pay attention to them or not.

In fact if we see closely then we find that the Desires/Expectations/Questions related to the balloons on the Left Side of the picture are Dominating and are Ever Actively Present/Working.

When we feel that we are not being rightly evaluated by people around  us or our intention is under doubt by people around us then our complete attention remains on the those people only. We always keep on evaluating ourselves and themselves and things which would have made them to wrongly evaluate us and we are always in the process to prove ourselves right in our eyes or we sometimes even fight with them to prove them wrong! We do not even enjoy things on the right side of the picture when we are this kind of situation. We do not enjoy music, movies, luxury, comfort and even we find ourselves unable to concentrate on things related to our career.  If we feel that there are no problems in the desires related to the Left Part of the picture then we are able to enjoy things on the right part without any problem. In fact in this case even if we do not have much of things on the Right Side of the picture then it is fine, but if there are problems in the desires/expectations related to the Left Part of the picture then we generally try to fill that void with the things on the Right Side of the picture and it becomes essential for us to have things on the Right Side to fill that void.

When our desires/expectations related to Left Side are being fulfilled we do not even come to know and when they are not being fulfilled we find some substitute for them from the Right Side, which doesn’t substitute it for long and problem persists!

If we observe closely then generally we try to ensure things related to Left Part of the picture with the Right Part of it. We feel that with good career, comfort, luxury, position, power, beauty etc. we will start looking good to people around us, we will get respect, we will get recognition, our relationships with people will improve and many other things. Our possessions become our basis of Respect and Trust with people around us. If we feel lack of possessions then we feel that we lack value in society and come under pressure. If we have a lot of possessions and a lot of value in the society and we find that it is going to shake then we get terrified due to fear of loosing Respect and Trust of people around. I have seen many examples when people did suicide when they got 2nd rank in exam because they have been getting 1st since ages and there are many more examples like this.

If we notice then the desires which are on the Left Side of the picture are Continuous within us with respect to Time. The basic desire behind the questions on the Left Side of the picture is of willingness to live with Trust and Respect. We want to live with Trust and Respect continuously. This willingness to live with Trust and Respect is there within us Continuously and is Ever Actively Present. There is never a time when I do not expect people around me to Trust me and there is never a time when I do not expect people around me to Rightly Evaluate me or Respect me!

Due to lack of understanding of Trust, Respect and Happiness we try to fulfill desires on the Left Side with the Right Part of the picture and it doesn’t fulfill it.

Generally we recognize ourselves with “something outside us”. We recognize ourselves with our Position, Power, Money, Beauty, Intellect and many more things. When I recognize myself with something like this then I expect others around me to look at me the way I look at myself. If I feel that I am beautiful then I expect others around me to recognize this fact that I am beautiful and to look up at me, similarly if I am positionful, powerful, moneyful or even if I feel that I am intellectually mature then I expect others around me to recognize me as a positionful, powerful, moneyful or an intellectually mature person. When they do it I feel Respected, I feel good with them, I feel related with them. When they do not do it then I feel disrespected, I feel bad, I feel a kind of repulsion/opposition with them.

When there is mismatch in My Perception towards Myself and Others Perception towards Myself then it hurts me and in Most of the cases we spend our energies to change others perception towards us, either by hook or by crook or even by violence! This is where we all or in fact entire world is!

In reality what need to be changed is our own perception towards ourselves. It is lack of understanding of ourselves about ourselves is the root cause of all our problems.

To understand Trust, Respect, Happiness etc. we need Knowledge.

Knowledge includes, complete understanding related to,
Self,
Family,
Society,
Nature.

So what makes a Beauty, to like a Beast?

Here, I will not make distinction of Beauty and Beast on the basis of gender. Either of a Boy or a Girl can be a Beauty or a Beast.

So question is, what makes a Beauty to like a Beast? Here this notion of Liking need to be analyzed. Generally it is seen that this liking  is governed by two factors. Liking on the basis of Bodily Aspects, Liking on the basis of Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior towards us. Our liking towards a particular person might be on the basis of first or second or both the factors together!

Generally it is found that Liking on the basis of second factor i.e. Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior is Dominating. This can be seen in several examples, situations. Following are some.

1. When we find Bodily Aspects of Beauty as per our Expectations then we get Attracted towards it but when we find that Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of that Beauty are not as per our Expectations then we start feeling Repulsion and the beauty of that Beauty on the basis of Bodily Aspects remains no longer Beautiful or Attractive to  us. In fact if we find that Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of Beauty are bad as per our notions of bad, then we start seeing a beast in that Beauty!

2. We begin with Attraction or Liking on the basis of Bodily Aspects of Beauty. When we spend some time with Beauty and find its Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior as per our Expectations then our Attention start shifting from Bodily Aspects to Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior. Liking because of second factor start Dominating. We start feeling good in the company of Beauty. Now the notions of beauty are changed. We start seeing beauty or start liking on the basis of Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior towards us, more than Bodily Aspects.

3. If we spend some time with a person who is not beautiful as per our notions of beauty of Bodily Aspects, but we find that Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of that person are as per our notions of good or as per our Expectations, then we start seeing beauty in that person. This kind of beauty even overpasses the beastliness of the Bodily Aspects. Here also we see that second factor i.e. Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of the person towards us Dominate over Bodily Aspects.

Here we see that second factor i.e. Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior of other person towards us gives us more happiness for more time than the first factor i.e. Bodily Aspects. We see that it is happening, but why it is happening?

In case of Humans, Feeling Component is Dominant and is Ever Actively Working (मनुष्य में भाव पक्ष प्रधान रहता है, तथा नित्य प्रभावी रहता है). A human being wants Unconditional Acceptance from other other person. We can notice that this Expectation of Unconditional Acceptance at least from  people whom we consider close to us, is Ever Actively Present. Whenever we feel that some doubt has come in the mind of person who is close to me then it is not tolerable to me. Unconditional Acceptance means, Unconditional Trust and Unconditional Respect. We expect other person to Trust us Unconditionally, to Respect us Unconditionally i.e. to Evaluate us Rightly always. When we see or feel that these conditions are being satisfied by other person i.e. when we see that other person has started Trusting  us Unconditionally, other person feels good about us, other person has good thoughts, other person understands us and when we start getting assurance that other person will keep on Trusting us Unconditionally, will keep on Evaluating us Rightly Always then it makes us feel really good, it makes us very Happy. We start undermining most of other aspects like cast, creed, religion, bodily aspects and many others!

Mostly in current scenario it happens that we undermine Feeling Component over Bodily Aspects and hastily indulge into commitments. But Feeling Component is Naturally Dominant. One who gave more priority to Bodily Aspects in past once is Satisfied by it, then he starts looking for satisfaction of Feeling Component i.e. Unconditional Trust and Respect. When this Feeling Component is not satisfied then he start seeing a Beast in the Beauty and it leads to several problems in relationships thereafter. We already see many examples of such things almost daily in our society like divorces, court cases, quarrels and even murders!

Generally we feel that by the satisfaction of Bodily Aspects we will be able to ensure Satisfaction of Feeling Component. In most of the cases we are not even aware of this Feeling Component, which is in reality, Dominant !

In some cases even if we are aware of existence Feeling Component, we lack clarity into it so we expect other person to Accept us Unconditionally in our own style or our own way and ultimately we start putting conditions on other person knowingly or unknowingly with which other person start feeling violated and problem persists.

So it is ultimately the Lack of Understanding which is the problem.

Lack of Understanding of Whom is causing the problem? Lack of Understanding “in” Ourselves!

Lack of Understanding of What is causing the problem ? Lack of Understanding “of” Ourselves!

So it is Lack of Understanding of a Human of Him Himself is causing the problem and not the lack of understanding of a Human of Other Human Being.

To understand Trust, Respect, Happiness, Relationships etc. we need Knowledge.

Knowledge includes, understanding related to:-
Self
Family
Society
Nature.

Yes I am talking about the Golconda fort at Hyderabad. This post is not about history or any good scenery at Golconda, but something else.

I visited Golconda fort twice. This post is about the description of the difference between those two visits.

First visit to Golconda fort:-

I was in first year when I went to Golconda fort, for the first time. I went there with my parents. As soon as we entered the place we found several “Guides” pursing us to hire them to visit the fort. We asked a few of them the cost and found it very high so we did not hire them. We entered the fort, went through the entirety of it and came out.

We enjoyed the trip.

Second visit to Golconda fort:-

Second time I went to the fort with my Mama jee and Mausi jee. Same thing happened the second time, several “Guides” started pursuing us to hire them to visit the fort. I told to my Mama jee and Mausi jee “These guides demand so much, do not hire them”. They said, “Its good to hire a guide while seeing any historical place” and they were ready to pay Guide the money which he was ready for, after some bargain. We entered the fort with a Guide. He started explaining us each and everything about the fort. Each and every “What”, “Why” and “How” he explained us about the fort. He explained why the entrance of the fort is curved so that the enemy does not attack with full momentum. Why there is a wall in front of entrance, what happens when we clap at the dome after entrance, why the walls are constructed the way they are constructed, why is everything the way it is, what happens when you speak near a wall in one of the room and you hear the sound through wall at the other end and many many more things.Ultimately we came out of the fort in 2 hours.

The trip was amazing!

Difference between first and second visit:-

The thing which I saw in the first time was just some “old walls”, “good scenery”, “how things used to be in old times”.

The thing which I saw in the second time was of course those “old walls”, “good scenery”, “how things used to be in old times” but in addition “a amazing work of civil engineering”, “how well constructed the fort is”, “how well organized the things were”, “how much intellectual and physical effort has been put up in the construction of the fort”, “how they used to consider various aspects like wars, strength of buildings, resource utilization, etc.”, “how they used to communicate and how those buildings used to help them to communicate”, “why the walls are constructed the way they are constructed” and many many many more things.

In the first time I could not appreciate it much. In second trip I could not stop myself appreciating it for many many days and even till now.

After my first visit I never used to suggest anybody to visit Golconda fort, I used to feel that there are better places to visit. After second trip I always take people to Golconda.

Crux of this post:-

Here I took Golconda just as an example. There may be many more things in Golconda to appreciate which I might have missed. Discussing Golconda is not the issue for me to discuss in this post!Issue is something else.

I was able to appreciate Golconda after my second trip when I understood “What”, “Why” and “How” behind various things. I was amazed to “see” the beauty of Golconda. In the first time I saw just what I could see through my eyes. In the second time I saw things which I could not “see” just through my eyes. I saw something more than what I could see through eyes and that made me to appreciate the real beauty.

This thing applies to our daily life also. We miss several things, we do not appreciate a several things, we do not get amazed to see several things because we do not know “What”, “Why” and “How” behind them. When we begin to understand or “see” “What”, “Why” and “How” about a particular thing we begin to appreciate it.

Just as an example, it really amazes me when “I see” that a human being wants to live with Happiness. This need of Happiness in a human being is always present with the same intensity and it never decreases with time. It is inexhaustible. It is ever actively present. A human being wants Certainty, Consistency and Continuity of Happiness. A human being want to live with feeling of Trust and Respect in Relationships and these things are same for every human being without any exception. All the works of a human being are happening to ensure the same purpose i.e. Happiness. This makes me to appreciate a human being. Similarly when I see/understand some more things/realities about an animal I begin to appreciate an animal. Similarly a Tree, a Stone. How well organized all the things are! How mutually-fulfilling entire nature is!

When we do not know “What”, “Why” and “How” about various things, what we see is what is there is front of our eyes. When we begin to understand “What”, “Why” and “How” behind various things we begin to see more than what our eyes can see and that makes us appreciate various things, that makes us feel really good about the well organization of various things, that brings more certainty in our feeling towards various things, which ultimately leads towards continuous happiness.

To understand, appreciate various things and feel Happy we need, Knowledge.

Knowledge includes, understanding related to:-
Self
Family
Society
Nature.