We all judge ourselves. Generally the purpose of judging is Self “Improvement”. Why do we want to improve ourselves? The basic idea or assumption behind self improvement is, “If I improve myself then I can be more happy”. Happiness and continuity of it is something which we want. We all want to be continuously happy.

Generally when it comes to judging ourselves then we do that by comparing ourselves with “others”. “Others” are generally the basis of judgment of ourselves. When we judge ourselves on the basis of others then it gives rise to Inferiority/Superiority. When we feel inferior we try to do something to become superior, and when we feel superior then we take pride in it and try to dominate those to whom we feel superior. It may be possible that we feel inferior to some people and superior to others. Generally we compare ourselves with the people with whom we interact more.

The basic thing which is needed to be analyzed here is what is this feeling of inferiority or superiority? and how does it come?

In my opinion I might feel inferior when I feel the uncertainty of getting respect from other and I might feel superior when I feel certainty of it due to any reason. So, we come to know that it is “Respect” which plays an important role in the feeling of Inferiority or Superiority.

If we try to analyze Respect then we come to know that we all want Respect. Need of Respect is continuous in us i.e. we want Respect continuously. This feeling of getting respect from others drives us in doing many such things which we do not want to do and sometimes it makes us not to do those things which we really want to do!!

I remember it was my cousin’s marriage. Father of my cousin did not have much to spend on the reception and other things. but being a girl’s father and that also in an elite society he was in Peer Pressure to give such a reception which couldn’t afford, but still he did. He took loans from banks, from his relatives and many other people just to confirm to the “standards”. He had a feeling that if he does not do so then he will loose “Respect”, so ultimately he gave a reception which was even above the “standards”. Now after 5-6 years of marriage, the situation in girl’s father’s house is, he is still in a big loan and his business is same sluggish as it was before and he thinks twice before buying even the daily needed things like grocery and all.

This was just one, not-so-high example. There are several examples like this where we make “others” around us as basis of judgment of ourselves and feel Inferior/Superior which leads to Competitions and Peer Pressures. Ultimately this Peer Pressure or Competition or feeling to avoid Inferiority or feeling to prove superiority becomes the driver of our thoughts. It becomes driver of almost all of our decisions and we keep on doing things which others around us are doing or whatever “others” dictate, just to keep on getting “Respect” from them!!

It is this feeling of getting or maintaining Respect from others around, we do a lot many wrong things also, which ultimately leads to corruption. Like, if my neighbor has a bigger car than me then I start feeling inferior. Now I need a bigger car to get back my lost respect. I don’t have much money to buy a bigger car, but I want it on any cost. My current salary in my job can not draw me a bigger car, so I try to find out some other ways of earning money. I start stealing tax, I start showing wrong medical bills, I start taking bribes and a lot many things which ultimately contribute to corruption. Ultimately after doing all these things when I get the bigger car I get back my “Respect” but only till the time my neighbor buys a more bigger car than my new car and in this way this vicious circle never ends. In this case also if we see then we come to know that, it is “car” which is being respected and not the person.

If we see in a bigger view then we come to know that, it all starts from the feeling of getting more and more Respect from others. It is this feeling of getting Respect in ourselves makes us to compare ourselves with “others”, which makes us feel either inferior or superior or both. It is this feeling of Inferiority/Superiority which creates “Peer Pressure” on us, which ultimately leads to corruption. Its a chain

Feeling of getting Respect from others leads to

Comparison leads to

Inferiority/Superiority leads to

Peer Pressure leads to

Corruption.

Those who have become corrupt, motivate others also to become corrupt and earn easy money. People compare themselves with those others who have become corrupt and are earning more and more money and again feel inferior and this chain ultimately becomes a vicious circle.

We all, almost all of us are suffering from this problem and fit somewhere in between the above chain. To come out of this chain there is necessity to understand “Respect”. We know that we want Respect continuously, so in current scenario to make respect continuous we will need to show ourselves superior to others continuously, which creates nothing but a self-destructive society as we have already seen. This reinforces the necessity to question and understand the definition of “Respect”.

As we have seen above generally we make possessions of the other person as the basis of Respecting him rather than the person himself. Possessions of a person includes his material and non-material possession like his property, car, house, salary, designation in his job, religion, caste, country, language, gender, build of the body, his ideology etc.

Till the time we keep on making possessions of a person as basis of judgment of person we keep on disrespecting him because we either find him inferior or superior to us but never find him same as us. Due to this kind of comparison we find ourselves inferior/superior and stuck in the same vicious circle. It requires us to correctly understand ourselves as well as others and to rightly evaluate them, not on the basis of their possessions but what they actually are!!

Definition of Respect thus turns out to be, “Right Evaluation”. Right Evaluation of a person leads to right “Respect” which is to the person and not to his possessions. Now it is left to the reader to evaluate it.

निम्नलिखित मेरे विचार हैं, जो मैंने १५ अगस्त पर IIIT-H में हुए समारोह में अध्यापकों, विद्यार्थियों तथा अन्य लोगो के समक्ष प्रस्तुत किए| Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam भी उस दिन वहां उपहस्थित थे|

आज स्वतंत्रता दिवस है| आज के दिन हम अग्रेजों की अधीनता से मुक्त हुए थे| आज का ही वह दिन था, जब हमें राजनैतिक स्वतंत्रता प्राप्त हुई थी| यह राजनैतिक स्वतंत्रता हमें यूँ ही प्राप्त नहीं हुई, इसे प्राप्त करने के लिए हज़ारों लोगों ने अपने निजी स्वार्थ को दरकिनार कर अपने प्राणों की खुशी खुशी आहुति दे दी|

आज स्वतंत्रता के ६० वर्ष बाद हम कहते हैं की हम स्वतंत्र हैं| स्वतंत्रता का अर्थ हम राजनैतिक स्वतंत्रता से लगाते हैं, पर क्या राजनैतिक रूप से स्वतंत्र होना ही, स्वतंत्रता है? राजनैतिक स्वतंत्रता प्राप्त कर के हम मानते हैं की हमने स्वराज हासिल कर लिया है, पर क्या यह सही मायने में स्वराज है?

इस जगह पर आकर हमें स्वतंत्रता तथा स्वराज, इन शब्दों को परिभाषित करने की आवश्कता महसूस होती है| स्वराज को पूर्ण रूप से परिभाषित कर पाना मेरे ज्ञान तथा योग्यता के परे है, पर तब भी में एक मोटे स्तर पर यह कहना चाहूँगा की स्वराज का अर्थ है, समाज में सुख तथा सम्रद्धि अथवा समाज में व्यवस्था| जब हम समाज में व्यवस्था को सुनिशचित करने जाते हैं, तो हम पाते हैं की समाज में व्यवस्था, मनुष्य के स्तर पर व्यवस्था को सुनिशचित किए बिना नहीं लाई जा सकती| मनुष्य के स्तर पर सुख तथा सम्रद्धि अथवा व्यवस्था सुनिशचित करने के लिए हमें मनुष्य के स्तर पर व्यवस्था को समझने की आवश्यकता है| मनुष्य के स्तर पर व्यवस्था को केवल स्वाध्याय से ही समझा जा सकता है| किसी गुमनाम व्यक्ति ने स्वाध्याय की महत्ता को बड़े ही अच्छे ढंग से समझाया है, जो में आप सबके साथ में बाँटना चाहूँगा|

यह कुछ इस तरह से है,
स्वयं से बातें करना हमेशा से ही मेरा काम रहा है| स्वयं से बातें करते करते अक्सर में दो “मैं” में बट जाता हूँ| एक वह “मैं” जो में होना चाहता हूँ, जिसकी मैंने अपने मन में छवि बाना रखी है, और दूसरा वह “मैं” जो में असलियत में हूँ| ऐसा करके मैं पाता हूँ की मेरे उन दो रूपों में कितना अन्तर है, कितना मतभेद है !! यह भीतरी मतभेद ही है जो आतंरिक हिंसा को जन्म देता है और अंततः बाहरी हिंसा के रूप में अपने आपको प्रदर्शित करता है|

काफ़ी लंबे समय से में इसी उलझन में पड़ा रहा की मेरे उन दो “मैं” में इतना अन्तर कैसे है, और मैं उसे आसानी से क्यों खत्म नहीं कर पा रहा हूँ? और भी कई प्रश्न मेरे इस अशांत मन को और भी विचलित कर देते, जैसे, आख़िर इस जीवन का उद्देश्य क्या है? हम क्या करना चाहते हैं?, आदि| मुझे पिछले कुछ समय से बस यही बात समझ मैं आई की इन प्रश्नों के उत्तर मुझे स्वाध्याय से ही मिल सकते हैं| स्वाध्याय ही मुझे बता सकता है की मेरे जीवन का उद्देश्य क्या है, मेरी भौतिक, मानसिक आवश्यकताएं क्या हैं|

मेरी ऐसी धारणा बनी की इन प्रश्नों के उत्तर के आभाव में और जीवन के प्रयोजन से जुड़े ज्ञान के आभाव में ही, हम स्वयं को उद्देश्यहीन पाते हैं और अक्सर वाही कर बैठते हैं जो हमारे समाज में अन्य लोग कर रहे होते हैं| और इस तरह से हम राजनैतिक रूप से स्वतंत्र होकर भी परतंत्रता का जीवन व्यतीत करते रहते हैं|

स्वाध्याय से मुझे यह पता लगा की मैंने अपने अभी तक के जीवन में जो भी कुछ अपने अन्दर ज्ञान समझ कर भर रखा है, वह सही में ज्ञान है, या फ़िर मेरी मान्यता है? मैंने यही पाया की हमें हमारी मान्यताओं और ज्ञान अथवा सही समझ के प्रति जागरूकता अत्यन्त ही आवश्यक है| ज्ञान तथा मान्यताओं को प्रथक करने वाली रेखा मुझे स्पष्ट रूप से दिखाई पड़नी चाहिए| हमारा व्यवहार हमारी मान्यताओं तथा ज्ञान का दर्पण होता है| हमारी मान्यताएं व ज्ञान हमारे व्यवहार को परिवर्तित कर देते हैं, हमारे नज़रिये को बदल कर रख देते हैं| एक ग़लत मान्यता का होना एक रंगीन चश्मे को लगा लेने जैसा है| अब भाई, लाल रंग का चश्मा लगा कर देखोगे तो दुनिया लाल ही नज़र आएगी ना!!

स्वाध्याय से ही मुझे समझ आया की समझ का आभाव ही सभी दुखों का कारण है| अज्ञानतावश ही मनुष्य गैरजिम्मेदाराना व्यवहार करता है| ज्ञान का अर्थ है, स्वयं के सम्पूर्णता से सम्बन्ध की समझ, जो स्वयं की समझ के बिना नहीं आ सकती| इसी समझ के आभाव में मनुष्य स्वयं भी दुखी होता है, और अन्य लोगों को भी दुखी कर बैठता है| अज्ञानता ही सभी दुखों का कारण है|

आज जब में अपने आसपास देखता हूँ, तो पाता हूँ, की चारों ओर भष्टाचार का बोलबाला है| सुधार की अवश्यक्ता है| इस सब भष्टाचार की जड़ अज्ञानता ही है| जब तक अज्ञानता ख़त्म नहीं होगी, तब तक भष्टाचार नामक इस राक्षस का वध नहीं होगा| जब तक हम स्वयं में सुधार नहीं लाएंगे तब तक हम समाज, देश, तथा विश्व के सुधार की आशा नहीं कर सकते| हर वह प्रयास जो अज्ञानता को मिटाकर ज्ञान बांटने में समर्थ है, सुधार कार्य की तरफ़ बहुत ही अच्छा और भव्य प्रयास है|

आज स्वतंत्रता दिवस है| आज के दिन हम अंग्रेजों की अधीनता से मुक्त हुए थे, पर मैं इस आजादी को सही मायने में आजादी नहीं मानता| हम तब तक आज़ाद नहीं होंगे, जब तक हम इन अज्ञानता रुपी बेड़ियों को तोड़कर स्वतंत्र नहीं हो जाते|

आइये हम सब आगे आयें और सभी में ज्ञान रुपी इस ज्योति को प्रज्वलित करने का यथासंभव प्रयास करें|
जय हिंद|

In this analogy, our Body is considered to be analogous to a chariot.

Our Body is the chariot,

Our Senses are the horses,

Reins controlling the horses, is the “Mann”,

These Reins are in the hands of “Buddhi” i.e the driver,

We are the one in the chariot, i.e. the “Swami”

If Buddhi is not appropriate i.e if the understanding is not proper then the Reins (Mann ) will not be in control. If Reins (Mann) are not taut i.e not in control, then the horses (senses) will be out of control, which will end up taking the chariot along with the Swami nowhere.

In fact it is the Buddhi (driver) keeps on teaching the Swami. Swami is the one who is the decision maker. If it is according to the knowledge given by Buddhi then it is fine otherwise we end up ending nowhere.

It was a train journey from Indore to Kota, my home place. Just two days back before the journey, I requested my uncle to get me a train ticket; he got me a sleeper class ticket with a waiting number of 53. We thought it would clear. In this hope, came the day of leaving. I inquired to railway inquiry, and found that there was still a big waiting. I told my uncle to cancel my train ticket and get me a bus ticket instead, but he said, “don’t worry, I will settle you the train, be patient and just see!!”. I was wondering how he will do that. On my repeatedly asking the same question he got irritated and shouted, “it is my responsibility to get you into the train, don’t worry, and don’t ask me this question again.”. I did not touch the topic again. Time of departure of train was approaching; I packed my luggage and got ready. We left to the railway station. After reaching there we checked for my waiting list number, it was 10. My uncle then started searching for TC. He asked to TC, if I could get one seat. He said, there is no seat available in sleeper coach. He then asked if there is seat available in AC coach, TC said “just go and sit on seat number 7, which is my seat, rest I will see in the train itself”.

I was afraid with all this; I was not ready to do all this. Many questions were revolving in my head, “what if … ??”. The main fear which I had in my mind was of fear of indulging in bribery, which I was not at all willing to do. I repeated asked few questions to my uncle, “How can I sit in AC coach with a sleeper class ticket? and even if there is some legal mechanism to do this, then what is the surety that he will not ask me for some money for his pocket?”. To this he said, “There exists a legal mechanism to upgrade a sleeper class ticket to AC coach, depending upon the availability of seat, but even then if he asks you for some money then, give it to him!!” I was not willing to indulge into this. In spite of my unwillingness they put my luggage into AC coach onto the seat number 7 and told me, “You are very impractical; you are unfit to survive in this world”. I kept quite, due to regard as he is elder to me.

And the time of departure came, train started moving; I was waving my hand on the gate of my coach and was saying bye-bye to all. I sat on seat number 7 in AC coach as said by TC. I still had fear and many questions were still revolving my mind, “what if …??”. What if some other TC comes? What if there is no legal mechanism to upgrade the ticket? What if TC asks me for some money? If he asks me for some money then how will I handle that situation? All these questions were revolving in my mind.

I was asynchronously monitoring if TC was coming, I couldn’t even concentrate much on the book I was reading. I was thinking to shift to general coach but I had a lot of luggage which I couldn’t shift in little time. I was cursing myself that I brought that much luggage and decided to not to carry more that 2 luggage in any journey in future.

Ultimately, I saw TC coming. I took my ticket out of my pocket and when he came I showed it to him. He told me to keep the ticket with me and wait for some time. May be he did not have any free seat till then. It happened 3-4 times, every time he was coming near to me, I was showing him the ticket and getting the same reply, “keep the ticket with you for some more time.” After some time he came back and told me to show him my ticket. I showed, he then took out his booklet to upgrade my ticket. He made a slip of Rs. 310 and allotted me a free seat. I was not expecting this; I thought he will ask me for some money without giving me any slip. I gave him 500 rupee note since I did not have change. He was supposed to return me 190 Rs. He went away without returning. I too did not ask him the change with the belief that he will return me change in some time and might not be having it that time.

He came back after some time sat next to me, took out money from his pocket, confirmed from me, “You gave me 500 Rs, right?”, “Yes” I said. He gave me 100 Rs back and very slowly said something to me with a mild sarcastic smile on his face. I couldn’t exactly hear what he said but I could understand that he was expecting me to leave 90 Rs. I said “I think I have some change”, I took out 10 Rs note out of my pocket, gave him, and raised my hand in the expectation of 100 Rs. He returned me 100 Rs unwillingly and was expecting me to give him 50 Rs or something. He did not explicitly ask me that but I could figure it out from his gesture. I did not give him anything. Without saying anything, I kept 200 Rs in my pocket and ignored him. May be he understood and did not ask me for money then. All the people around me were awake so may be, he was not willing to do that explicitly in front of all of them.

I was feeling secure now. I had got an AC coach legal ticket. All my fears had gone except the fear, what if he comes again sometime later and asks me for some money? How will I handle that situation? I started imagining that situation in my mind and was trying to find out the solution for it. I decided that if he asks me for money sometime later then I will refuse him humbly with gratefulness for allotting me seat in AC coach.

He did not come for a long time. Kota was approaching us, only 30-45 minutes were remaining. TC came back and sat next to me. He was also going to get down at Kota. Again same questions started revolving in my mind and I started revising what I had decided in my mind. But by God’s grace that situation did not come. He did not ask me anything and Kota came. I was now fearless and happy. I was happy that I was saved from the thing which I was not willing to do. But during these ending hours I saw him taking money from some other people, when all were almost asleep.

There are some more things in it. What if he would have asked me for money without giving me any slip? What if I had refused to give him money? What he could have done? If he had asked me to leave the coach or had charged me fine for boarding into the AC coach in spite of his instructions, since I did not have any proof that he gave me instructions, then what would have happened? I was with 5 big bags which I feel was difficult for me to change the coach on any station since the train was not stopping on any station for more that 10 minutes.

In this entire thing first mistake was mine. I shouldn’t have boarded the AC coach in spite of the TC’s instructions. I should have completed the formalities on the station itself, then only I should have boarded. But I feel he did not have any free seat that time in AC coach and there was pressure from my uncle’s side on me to board it. In this situation when I had already boarded the AC coach, if he had asked me for money, then I would have definitely refused humbly, but if he had insisted then probably I would have given him the money. I know that it wouldn’t have been right, but I was in such a situation that I wouldn’t have had any other option.

There have been many times in past, when I did things which now I feel were wrong. There were many wrong things which I did, out of ignorance i.e. without knowing that what I was doing could be wrong, out of need and having no option other than doing what I feel was wrong, out of fear I did things which I was not willing to do and sometimes even out of greed and temptation, in spite of knowing that what I was doing was wrong.

What I feel today is, what I know could be wrong, but yes I feel that is the Truth for me today. I will make it base for my action. Yes it is possible that tomorrow the Truth changes for me, then the new version of Truth will become basis of my action. I will try to refrain myself from temptations and greed which I feel could only be avoided with more understanding and for fear it will require more courage and knowledge.

It is said that God Almighty wanted

to create the best creation. He worked for

millions of years, designing and evolving

the image. He went on looking at the image,

improving it and finally decided to give it life.

As soon as the image of the man got life, two

things happened. First, he opened his eyes and

smiled. God was very happy. The second, he

opened his mouth and said, “Almighty, thank

you.” God was delighted to see His creation

and felt that he did the two right things.

Suddenly, God found that something was

missing in the man. He then created fire in

a flash of a second, out of which came the

Shaitan, who said, “God, you took millions

of years to create the man, but you created

me out of fire in a flash of a second. So I am

the best.” The Almighty who had created the

universe with mighty orbiting galaxies with

the outburst of Shaitan. He had created the

best of his creation, the man on one side, and

on the other side, the Shaitan. He thought of

it and looked at both with the benevolence and

integrated the man and Shaitan and gave the

following message:

“I have created the human being with brain

and thinking faculty. I command all My

creations to use your faculty with reasoning to

reach My Image.”

As Rumi, the Turkish Sufi poet, wrote:

Angel is free because of his knowledge,

The beast because of his ignorance,

Between the two remains the son of man to stuggle.

Just two days back I was waiting for a bus to go to Mendipatam at the bus stop outside IIIT. It was around 12:30 in the afternoon. Two heavily loaded buses had already passed by. There were around 3-4 people on the bus stop, then one old man joined the crew. He was an old person with a TEEKA on his gleaming and big forehead. He had a mild smile on his face and was very simply dressed with a simple white shirt and black pant. I thought he might be in Infosys. After some time one auto rickshaw walla came shouting “Mendi Patanam”, “Mendi Patanam”, we rushed towards that auto and secured two seats for us. Just after few meters had passed by, I asked him
“Are you in Infosys ??”
He said “NO, actually I belong to Chennai, I came here for seeing my flat which I have bought in one of the buildings behind IIIT”. “Ohh !! okk” I said.
“What do you do ??” He asked.
“I am studying at IIIT Hyderabad and I have completed my 3rd year.”
“how are the facilities in IIIT ??”
“They are fantastic. We have single seated, well furnished, and very comfortable rooms and Wireless LAN facility. Facilities are really awesome and they are better than even IITs.”
“Then fees must be high ??” he asked.
“Yes that is, it costs around 1 lack per annum.”
“My son also did engineering.”, He said.
“Ohh !! Great, from where ??”, I asked.
“He did his B.Tech from IIT Chennai in computer science branch.”
“Fantastic !! so what is he doing now ??”
“He is doing job at MSR Redmond. Last year I was also there.”
“What?? MSR Redmond !! thats really great. Is this his first job or ??”
“No, first only. He was planning to do MS but when he got job in Microsoft he changed his mind. He was here in Hyderabad branch previously; later on they sent him to MSR Redmond.”

I was thinking that this person must be proud of his son. I was saying the facilities of IIIT awesome which are incomparable with the facilities at Microsoft.

Journey went by and we reached Mendipatanam. From there we both had to go sec bad. We took 49M.

He was about to pay for me also, but I stopped and paid for myself.

“Is this the first time you are in Hyderabad??”, I asked.

“No, actually I have been here for a long time. I worked in BHEL for 12 years then I started my own company.”, He said.

Then I realized that he is a millionaire. Person who goes Redmond for summer holidays, his son is doing job at MSR Redmond, he himself has his own company, but still he never let me feel that I am talking to such an experienced and rich person. His behavior was very simple and he was very humble. You can always notice a mild infectious smile on his face.

My destination was near so I was about to leave the bus. I got up and a one boy with sloppy dress took up my place. That man gave him the same smile and was talking to him.

I have heard people saying that money, status, power etc. develops big ego and makes a person arrogant. Now I feel that it is not true. These things just provide a surface; it depends on a person’s true character that what he will ultimately become. Power just unmasks a person. A very rich and powerful person can be very humble and can be very arrogant too. It just depends on a person’s true character which is revealed after getting the power. A modest person will be modest anyhow, but a person who is not modest and pretends to be modest before getting the power, you can easily figure out the changes in him after getting the power.

In past few months I came across many things which I feel are worth mentioning here.

I came across many social customs which I feel are creating a lot of peer pressure on people. I will be talking about the customs which we follow in Gifts, Celebrations, Parties, Marriages and all.

Gifts

We see the culture of Gifts. When we go to our relatives houses we take something with us and when we are coming back they generally give back something to us. This is the custom which we see. What I feel the basic idea which might have been behind this custom, to express the gratitude, love, affection or as a souvenir. This must have been the purpose with which this culture evolved. The basic problem which I find now is, we have forgotten the purpose and are just following the method. We take Gifts just for the sake of taking it or it has become a culture and we expect something in return. These Gifts have now become the basis of a relationship. We judge the depth of a relationship by the kind of Gifts which we receive and others do the same. It has become a kind of “Give and Take” thing, where everybody thinks, since I have received gifts from my relatives of some price then it has become my obligation to give back Gifts of price more than what I have received.

I remember many such incidents in my own family and in others families too when I felt the quality and quantity of Gifts were the major reasons for the weakening of relationships. I remember many such incidents when the basis of quality and quantity of Gifts we are going to take to our relatives house was dependent on the quality and quantity of Gifts we received from them.

Celebrations, Parties and Marriages

We come across many celebrations and parties like, Birthday Parties, Job Parties, Marriage Parties and many more. We all have a social circle and that social circle consists of many people with many different financial and social backgrounds. We see that Party culture is already there. People give parties on their birthdays and other such events. The problem comes here when I am invited to a party I can not say NO and when I have to give party on my birthday or something the standard of party has to be the same as what I have been into. This is what creates pressure on us. What I feel the main purpose of giving Party is to share the happiness not just a formality that since I have received so I am obliged to give it back and it has to be the same extravaganza that the others did. Here also I would like to say that we have forgotten the purpose and are just following the method and there also we are creating peer pressure on other people. Party these days has become the issue the fear rather than sharing Happiness. I do not say that we should not give parties or should not attend them. I just mean to say that when these things become the basis of relationships then it creates pressure of people and a mean of sharing Happiness ultimately becomes the cause of Unhappiness.

I remember many incidents when we go to parties and celebrations and after coming back we criticize the arrangements and other things in the party since they were not as per our standards. This kind of criticism does nothing but increases the pressure on others to confirm to the standards of others who criticize, independent of fact whether they are really financially capable of giving parties of that standard or not. Still people confirm to the those standards because if they do not, they have a fear of rejection.

Specially in marriages there is lots of extravaganza. Whenever we talk about marriages we think in 10-15 lacks and if it is case of a girl then people think in even more than that. Parents spend their complete savings and earnings in their children’s marriages. Just to confirm to the “standards”. They come under financial pressures, peer pressures. They take loans, or spend their savings. They always find themselves deprived and want more and more money.

This kind of want for more and more money in turn creates more and more problems like it gives rise to Black Money, Stealing of Tax, Bribery and many such wrong ways of earning the money. These kind of things in turn contribute in inflation. Now since prices have increased due to our own mistakes which we did due to out own short term vision and incomplete knowledge and we want to confirm to the “standards”, we find ourselves more deprived. We daily become victims of what mistakes we did or our ancestors did in their lives due to Incomplete Knowledge and Short Term Vision and in spite of that we do not even realize that we ourselves gave rise to the system which is responsible for our deprivation.

Due to short term vision and incomplete knowledge we all have made such mistakes in past that now it is almost impossible to revert back and we daily knowingly and unknowingly become victims of those mistakes !!

In spite of becoming victims we do not do anything and just keep on doing however and whatever system dictates. We live the life however system wants us to live rather than what we feel is right. And the people who know what is right, who stick to their ideas and want to implement them face a lot of criticism, lots of opposition and are deemed as “Impractical”.

The only thing which can change the system is the change in attitude of minds of people. In my opinion the only thing which can change the attitude of minds of people is the change in the Education System, which is just teaching how to earn a living, how to earn more and more money but NOT how to live !!

The prevailing reason which I find behind peer pressure is the lack of absolute confidence. Absolute confidence is independent of any other individual. It is independent of any comparative feeling. As long as we live with relative confidence, we keep on comparing ourselves with others and try to show ourselves materially superior and ultimately join the rat race and these kind of pressures around us dominate us and we succumb to them. The only thing which can add to our absolute confidence is Knowledge.

It is the Knowledge which lets you know what is the Truth. It gives you strength to abide to your ideas.

Fear is not a disease of the body; Fear kills the soul. — Mohandas K. Gandhi.

Fear, whenever I think about fear I am amazed, how can a single emotion such as this, can make people, can break people, can drive people in any direction as it wants !!

I have been thinking on this topic since a long time and was trying to analyze or to find out the answers of many of my questions like,

What all kinds of fears I and others have?

What are reasons for all those fears?

Was I aware of all those fears when I born?

What all fears are common to all of us or are natural and which fears are man made?

What are the consequences of all those fears?

Now question which arises here is, when do I feel fear? In my opinion, I might feel fear when I am not sure of getting what I want or when there is uncertainty of getting/doing what I want or when there is uncertainty of getting/doing what I don’t want or when there is uncertainty of fulfillment of desire and there may be many other reasons which I am unaware of. All those factors which might be responsible for creating that uncertainty might be responsible for my fears.

Now in the broadest category if I try to analyze that what I want in my life, then it turns out to me, Happiness and Continuity of it. So, with this goal, all the factors which come into my way of Happiness or which might disturb my Happiness in future or might break the continuity of my Happiness will contribute to my fears. In very abstract level we can say that

The greatest fear of life is the fear of being unhappy.

We see that we have many kinds of fears, fear of criticism, fear of rejection, fear of loosing public acceptance, fear of failure, fear of loosing respect, fear of loosing trust, fear of loosing wealth, fear of other human intentions, fear of loosing whatever physical or non-physical thing I posses and many more.

When I was born I don’t think I had any fear. As my knowledge about facts increased, so did my fears. When my knowledge about the facts associated with nature increased I realized that there are some fears which I have due to nature and which can not be avoided and they are,

Fear of Natural Calamities,

Fear of Bodily Diseases,

Fear of Wild Animals,

Fear of another Human Being.

These are some of the fears which we get naturally, which are given by nature. If I analyze then I rarely think about first three fears out of above four. The only fear which remains now is the fear of another human being.

The main thing which creates fear in a human being due to another human being is, Difference. I have discussed in my last post why Differences arise and how they can be advantageous and in what conditions they are disadvantageous. Difference is something which is given by the nature.

Difference is something which is given by nature.

As we see that a human being has 5 senses which are the source of all the inputs and sensations in his body. Those inputs are the source of our knowledge. Now the thing is these 5 senses are limited in capability. Like I can not see at my back while seeing in my front and similarly there are limitations of my other senses too. A person thus can not see the absolute reality associated with an object. Different people see Difference realities and make their assumptions. These Different realities and assumptions ultimately contribute to their Differences in opinions and thoughts. Now the thing to notice here is, a Human Being is seeing Different realities than the other Human being due to his limitations of the senses which is ultimately creating the Differences in their opinions, and these senses are given to the human being by the nature, so we can deduce that the Differences are something which are given by nature. The major problem arises when we assume that the reality (which is actually the partial reality) which we have seen is the absolute reality and become rigid on it and when some Difference comes into picture (which might be the other partial reality of the same object), we want to kill the Difference with violence. We feel that the Difference itself is the Evil.

Nature has given some fears to us, I could think of four, which I have written above. Generally in current situation we do not think first three fears, like we do not think of natural calamities like earthquakes etc, we do not think of fears related to wild animals, we do not think of bodily diseases after having got so much medical advances. The major dominating fear is the fear of another Human Being. Which is also natural due to the Differences between them because Differences themselves are given by the nature. The problem here is, there are many kinds of fears which we know and we suffer from these days and most of the fears are Man Made Fears.

When a man comes into society, he has many social bondages, many social expectations, many said or unsaid norms, many expectations from the family, friends, and many other people. There are current trends, there is a lots of influence from the environment, something is in more demand these days, something is less and there are many more things. It is something like a man is in a predefined framework where he is tied with many chains knowingly or unknowingly, and he is supposed to be in the same situation, by the society, family and most of the people around. The position of the person can be considered similar to the person shown in figure.

Like for example, if I start from the time when a child is born, the first label which is attached with the child is the label of religion. If I am born in a Hindu family then I will be a Hindu. If I am born in a Muslim family then I will be a Muslim and so on. Then comes the schooling part. During the schooling, child starts to identify his interest and wants to pursue it but if that interest is not matching with what parents want then it creates problem to the child. There is a lots of pressure on the child to pursue the interest of parents. The choices of parents are also generally influenced by the environment, society, current trends, current ups and downs, profession of people around them, what their children are doing, where more money can be earned, where there is scope these days basically scope for more money and many more reasons. Generally if you try to do something different than what your peers are doing, what current trends are, whats happening in your environment then you might have to face a lots of criticism, lots of back biting, and if your step is to bring some change in the environment itself, then you might even have to face a lots of opposition, criticism etc.

I t is really difficult to make your own way, when all other ants are moving on the path already set by other ants !!

In such situations it is the fear of criticism, fear of back biting which stops people to pursue their interests. Fear of criticism contributes a lot in what we call, The Peer Pressure. Peer Pressure is a kind of pressure which people feel due to their peers, due to their colleagues. Peer Pressure in my opinion is felt by people due to three reasons, first due to the feeling of comparision or fear of lagging or fear of being left behind like, “everybody around me is doing MBA, may be I should also do MBA”, “everybody is earning more and more by taking more and more bribes. then may be I should also start taking bribes and since everybody is doing, so there is nothing wrong in it.”. Second due to fear of criticism like “if I choose Arts as my field then I will be criticized a lot”. Third due to the fear of non acceptance from public.

Human being these days has become a kind of “Visible God” to most of other Human Beings. A human being is not able to do what he actually wants to do, or what he feels is right because of peer pressures, due to fears of rejection, due to fear of non acceptance by other human beings. A Human Being is driving the life of other Human Being. A Human Being has fears from other Human Being. So who is the God for a Human Being?

It is due to the fear of these “Visible Gods” people don’t want to be what they really are, people don’t want to behave the way they actually want to, people have lost their natural smiles, people do many things which they don’t want to do, people don’t want to take the responsibilities of their actions. The reason why Hypocrisy is increasing day by day is nothing but the fear of these “Visible Gods”. People want public acceptance, people want favor of public, people want themselves to be shown good in the public. These are some of the factors which takes away the natural behavior of the people. They are just being driven in the river downstream. They are just trying to uplift themselves up in the eyes of others by falling into their own eyes.

In society we have many prejudices, many assumptions which have no reasons behind them or people forgot the purpose and just remember the method and are following the methods without knowing the purposes. These assumptions or methods which we are following are also very much responsible for our fears.

Our own misconceptions, lack of understanding, wrong assumptions and incomplete knowledge are responsible for our fears.

One of the greatest and dominating assumption which people have these days is their belief in Cynicism. The word ‘cynicism’ generally describes the opinions of men and women who maintain that self-interest is the primary motive of human behavior, and are disinclined to rely upon sincerity, human virtue, or altruism as motivations. There are two things associated with Cynicism, first being cynical and second is believing in cynicism. Being Cynical means mistrusting the intentions of others and thinking that the other person is motivated by his self interest and people are generally motivated by their self interests. Believing in Cynicism is, thinking that the selfishness is the way of the life. Cynicism creates an environment of distrust. The main reason of distrust is Fear. Fear that other person will exploit me, Fear that other person has bad intentions, Fear that other person is being driven by his self interests and will definitely make wrong use of me.

One more reason which I could find behind fears is our own dishonesty. Our dishonesty makes us uncomfortable in the way that it creates a fear of revealing the dishonesty. We say something somewhere and something somewhere else. There is always a contradiction and calculation in mind “what I said last time?”. There is a lot of book keeping which we need to do and have to be very choosy and fast in calculation. But why the heck am I doing this? Is it really giving me Happiness? Am I really comfortable with this situation? I feel I am not. We ourselves are creating a feeling of fear for us and making ourselves unhappy.

Most of us are reluctant to Trust people and we say, “This is how things happen, if you want to survive in the society then be practical.”. Lack of Trust creates an environment of fear. Actually Fear and Trust are inversely proportional to each other. Fear increases, mistrust increases. Fear and Mistrust reinforce each other. Until fearlessness is not achieved Trustful environment can not be created and vice versa. This feeling of mistrust is filled in the child from the day he starts going to the school, “You have to practical. Be practical !!”, without giving the definition of “being practical”. If being selfish is being practical, if telling wrong things to others is being practical, if being cunning is being practical, if creating an environment of distrust and if considering other human beings as Gods is being practical, if being driven by wrong assumptions is being practical, if being in the rat race is being practical, if playing an unfair game is being practical, then I hate being practical. We all contribute a lot in creating this kind of environment and ultimately creating an environment of fear and mistrust. Unless we start taking the responsibility of our own actions, unless we realize that we ourselves are responsible for the current condition of the society and the world, unless we stop being indifferent, nothing can be changed. Generally we give many arguments in our favor, “I can not do anything and I am helpless and I have no other option other than being indifferent”. Unless we are not part of the solution, we ourselves are the problem.

Evil flourishes when good people of the country, society, family, group be indifferent, tolerant, and do nothing.

Many times we create environment of mistrust knowingly or unknowingly. We appreciate so called “pragmatism” and call the honest people “Impractical” and “Fools”. We motivate more and more people to become practical and demotivate people who are willing to fight against the system and change it, by giving the arguments “You can not progress like this. If you want to survive in the society and want to progress then be practical!!”. Most of us just criticize the system but do not do anything to change it. On the other hand we demotivate and criticize those who are working for the betterment of society. Being practical in the society is appreciated and it is the rule of the world that the thing which is appreciated is condemned to repeat itself.

Many times we do spread feeling of mistrust and environment of distrust knowingly or unknowingly. We criticize a lot of people at their backs. We have many assumptions because of which we understand what we want to understand instead of what the actual reality is. Our understanding depends of our perception and our perceptions is formed out of our entire preconditioning. Our preconditioning generally involves a lots of wrong assumptions which changes out attitude towards the surrounding and the people. We just keep on criticizing people at their backs, we just keep on gossiping and we feel good without even realizing the consequences of what we are doing, what kind of environment we are creating, and in the end we criticize the same system which we ourselves created.

Whenever something goes wrong then we start playing a blame game. We do not want to take the responsibility of our actions. We just keep on blaming the entire world and at the end of the day we say, its all about fate. Fate is just a tool or an excuse to evade from the responsibilities. Life is really very easy when we are not responsible for our actions and fate gives this opportunity. Blame fate if you can not find anybody else to blame but never look into yourself, this is what we do.

Maturity comes when we realize that we ourselves are responsible for our present and our future.

Maturity come with the realization of responsibility. Realization of responsibility comes with proper understanding and knowledge. If I see what I want in my life then it turns out to be, Happiness. Happiness can not be achieved without Maturity and Maturity can not be achieved without the sense of Responsibility and sense of Responsibility can not be achieved without Knowledge. So for Happiness a man needs, Knowledge.

So what is the solution? How can we be fearless? How can we live more happier life? As I discussed just now that the only thing which can kill our fears is Knowledge. It is only the Knowledge and right understanding which can kill our fears. It is only the Knowledge and right understanding which can control our uncontrolled emotions. It only the right understanding and Knowledge which can make us more happy. Unless we kill our prejudices, unless we kill our wrong assumptions, until we keep on living in the darkness of ignorance, we can never be Happy.

Truth, purity, and unselfishness—wherever these are present, there is no power below or above the sun to crush the possessor thereof. Equipped with these, one individual is able to face the whole universe in opposition. — Swami Vivekananda.

Few people have guts to stand for their opinions and fight against the system. One of greatest examples in history is Mohandas K. Gandhi. Such kind of people have guts to stand for their beliefs and fight against the system and change it. As it might be expected that it is not easy to stand against a lot of people when they are against you and are not ready to listen. We have to face a lot of criticism, a lot of opposition. For this Gandhiji said,

First they ignore you,

Then they laugh at you,

Then they fight you,

Then you win.

So the question arises as to, how did Gandhiji do this? He used two great weapons for this, Truth and Non-Violence. Truth gives great power. Power to stand for one’s believes, power to be determined, power to face criticism, power to face opposition. Non-Violence not only changes the system but changes the person also, which is a more permanent solution rather than just changing the system without changing the person. If the person is not changed then the system will become what it was, and the war against the system will never come to an end. The only thing which can change the system is the change in attitudes of the people.

A change in attitude can change everything.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. — William James

Now question is how Non-Violence can change the person? There are two kinds of violence, Active Violence and Passive Violence. Active Violence is physically harming the person. Passive violence is creating an environment of mistrust, creating an environment of fear, criticizing people at their backs, use of irresponsible language, use of provoking phrases, creating misconceptions between people, creating voids between people etc. We do Passive Violence a lot knowingly or unknowingly. Passive Violence is something that later becomes Active Violence. Generally people use violence to kill the Difference. As I discussed in my last post “Differences”,

The only way to kill the Difference is Knowledge.

If one tries to kill the difference with violence, it may be active violence or passive violence then there is very high probability that the other person will be provoked rather than being convinced and that provoking violence might even reinforce his wrong beliefs. Violence can bring the harmony for some time but not permanently. Violence is another way of creating a fearful environment around the other person, and the other person remains in control due to fear. It is not a permanent solution as the person is not changed, he is not doing anything because of fear of violence, but as soon as the person gets the power again, violence will start again. A permanent solution would be to increase the knowledge of the other person and make him realize that he is doing wrong. If that realization is there then the other person will NOT repeat his wrong thing again. Non-Violence makes a person to think on what he is doing, and ultimately changes the person. As I said that the only way to kill the Difference is knowledge, so to kill the Difference, Knowledge transfer is essential and Knowledge can not be transferred without humility.

Knowledge can not be transfered without humility.

Humility is something which can not be imitated. Humility is something which can not be artificially shown. Humility is something which should come from inside and Humility from inside does not come without knowledge.

Humility is Directly proportional to Knowledge.

So again the ultimate solution is Knowledge. It is the knowledge which makes a person to know the Truth better. It is the knowledge which improves a person’s ideas. It is the knowledge which makes a person humble. It is the knowledge which makes a person to understand his responsibilities and it is the feeling of responsibility which makes a person more mature. It is the knowledge which makes a responsible person to transfer the knowledge. It is the knowledge which when transfered can kill the differences. It is the knowledge which can change the attitudes of the people, which can improve the ideology of the people, which can change the person completely. When the knowledge to the people is transfered, attitudes of people changes and the Differences between the people are killed. When Differences between the people are killed a more Fearless and Trustful environment is created. When Fearlessness and Trust between the people are ensured then Peace in the world is ensured. And it all starts from Knowledge!!

Knowledge is the solution for everything and it is the incomplete knowledge and ignorance which is the reason for all evil. Knowledge is Divine and Ignorance is Evil.