I am with you no matter what!

I will always be there for you no matter what!

Relationship says this!

We see that we have many relationships like parents, relatives, friends and many more. We make new friends. We give different priorities to different friends. We classify our friends in different categories of Best, Close, Normal, Acquaintance etc. If we observe it closely then we come to know that the friends whom we call our best friends are generally those who accept us unconditionally! With whom we have assurance that he/she is there for me no matter what! He/she will be there for me no matter what!

The thing which now comes for analysis is, “What is this Unconditional Acceptance?”

Unconditional Acceptance, as the words themselves suggest, Acceptance without any condition. When there is no condition in acceptance then such kind of acceptance has continuity. Such kind of acceptance never fades out with time.

When I accept somebody unconditionally then it gives assurance to the other person,

I am there for you and will be there for you, no matter what!

I will always Trust your intentions, no matter what!

I will always Respect you for what you are, no matter what!

We see that we all want Unconditional Acceptance in relationships. This feeling of being accepted unconditionally is there within all of us, it is ever actively present in all of us.

I can not afford to be mistrusted by anybody.

In fact when we feel the uncertainty of acceptance from even a single person, we feel uncomfortable. When we don’t get unconditional acceptance we try to fulfill the conditions made by the other person for acceptance. In case of uncertainty of acceptance from others or conditional acceptance from others we start pretending, we start losing our own real self, we start wearing different masks in front of different people, and it makes us unhappy within. It makes us do those things which we really do not want to do and many a times does not allow doing those things which we really want to do. Ultimately we feel suffocated in relationships and feel that the relationship itself is the problem! And same happens with the other person when we do not unconditionally accept other person, because desire to be accepted unconditionally is his basic desire also.

Suffocation in relationship is not tolerable to anybody. Everybody wants to come out of Pressures, Fears, Suffocation etc. In relationships we feel totally free when we get unconditional acceptance. That is what we always want in relationships. Feeling of getting unconditional acceptance from everybody is our basic desire.

In fact if I see it closely then if I have unconditional acceptance for the other person and I feel uncertainty of acceptance from the other person then it does not affect me rather I feel responsible for the other person and try to help him with his misconceptions. I remain comfortable within myself when I have unconditional acceptance for the other person. Its only when my acceptance for the other person shakes I feel uncomfortable. When I doubt the intentions of the other person I get hurt. When I doubt the intentions of the other person my acceptance for him is lost. For example, when a mad person abuses me I do not get hurt because I go ahead with the assumption that he lacks competence or knowledge thats why he is doing so and I do not doubt on the intention that “he wanted to hurt me”, but when my relative or my friend abuse me I get hurt. In case of my friends and relatives I assume that “They wanted to hurt me!”. I doubt on the intention. As soon as I doubt on the intention I get hurt. In most of the cases my acceptance for the other person is dependent on the fact that other person has accepted me, so when I see the uncertainty of acceptance in other person for me, then my acceptance for him also shakes. When I lack acceptance, when there is uncertainty in my acceptance for the other person, when I doubt on the intention, when my doubt goes beyond just the competence of the other person, when I could not understand why other person did something, when I am perplexed and uncertain about the intention of other, I get hurt. It makes me unhappy.

I want my happiness. I want to certainty, consistency and continuity in my happiness. So, I can not afford to doubt on the intention of the other person. Assurance that intentions of the other person are good, is called Trust. When my Trust for the other person shakes I get hurt. When I have my Trust for the other person and then other person misbehaves with me I do not get hurt. I rather try to resolve his misconception calmly, without having any discomfort within myself.

To ensure my happiness and continuity of it, I can not afford to mistrust anybody.

Relationships give me Security. Feeling of being related to everybody gives me continuity of happiness.

We all want such kind of friends who can give us unconditional acceptance, but we lack the competence to give others the same kind of acceptance. Our intention is to get unconditional acceptance from others but we lack the competence to give it. This barrier between intention and competence can be broken down by Knowledge. We need to increase our knowledge to increase our competence so that we can accept people unconditionally, to Trust them unconditionally.
Knowledge includes

Knowledge of the Self.

It includes, what I really want? What is my basic desire?

Knowledge of the Existence.

It includes, what is my role in existence? understanding of harmony in existence.

which leads to, Knowledge of Natural Human Conduct.

And Knowledge of Relationships include knowledge of various values or feelings involved in relationships like Trust, Respect, Affection, Care, Guidance, Reverence, Glory, Gratitude and Love.

If we see then we find that most of the problems in the society are due to lack of understanding of relationships. This lack of understanding is within most of us. It is only this understanding which can lead to undivided society.